Korean food really isn't bad at all. Prior to coming to Korea I would refuse to eat anything that looked or smelled even remotely funny. I was adamant that raw fish was repugnant and that the only acceptable condiment was ketchup. This all changed on my second day in Korea.
After giving me a whirlwind tour of Busan, The Boss Man offered to take me out for lunch. Ass Kisser Extraodinaire that I am, when asked where I wanted to eat, I asked him to take me to his favourite restaurant. When he giggled and asked if I would eat raw fish, I held back my gagging and assured him that I would learn to enjoy it. Over the next hour I tried a number of different things; some were most certainly raw fish, one was octopus, and I haven't the faintest idea what all the other stuff was. All I remember is that most of it was good. This set the tone for the rest of the year: I would no longer label a food as repugnant without ever having tried it. Except for live octopus or any type of insect. Small minded eater by nature that I am, lines must be drawn somewhere.
I've either enriched my palate or just killed off the majority of my taste buds. Both? Either way, there will probably be some Korean food that I will miss during my brief hiatus, but I won't miss it nearly as much as my favourites from home. With my return to Canada booked for roughly 30 days from now, I have a wish list of artery stopping goodness that I intend to indulge on.
It's quite likely that I will return to Korea fat.
1) Poutine
Guaranteed heart attack on a plate. I have tested the poutine at a number of establishments in Korea. Most notably: O'Brien's in Busan, The Holy Grill in Daegu, and The Rocky Mountain Tavern in Seoul. Each and every time, it was delicious. The Holy Grill did it best. Still, it... Just. Wasn't. The. Same. Within 72 hours of my return, I promise my thighs that I will go to my favourite deep fried Drunk Food stop in downtown Barbieville and get the largest helping of this crap that they will give me. It's gonna be gross. I might actually die.
2) Arby's Roast Beef Sandwich
Fuck ya.Every time that hunger has crept up on me over the past month, I've wanted an Arby's roast beef sandwich. My God, have I wanted an Arby's roast beef sandwich. There is an Arby's within ten minutes of where I will be staying when I return to Canada. You better believe that my ass is going to be parked there within 24 hours of my plane's landing.
One will not be enough. There will be three. And one of those will be doused in that disgusting orange cheese stuff that they put on the melts. It's going to be ridiculous. Clearly I will only die of poutine poisoning if the awesomeness of three Arby's roast beef sandwiches doesn't kill me first.
One will not be enough. There will be three. And one of those will be doused in that disgusting orange cheese stuff that they put on the melts. It's going to be ridiculous. Clearly I will only die of poutine poisoning if the awesomeness of three Arby's roast beef sandwiches doesn't kill me first.
3) Chicken Caesar Pita
Double chicken. Double bacon.
Double chicken. Double bacon. I don't demand that it be from the Pita Pit, but I absolutely insist upon double bacon and double chicken. And just a hint of hot sauce. Of all the things that I want to eat when I get home, this is probably the least likely to kill me on the spot.
4) Bars of cheese
No, really. Bars.
No, really. Bars.When I visit the grocery store within my first few days back in Canada, there is a very real chance that I will get emotional as I approach the dairy aisle. I might actually cry. That I can't really eat dairy at home without getting sick as fuck won't matter. Should I fail to get disgustingly fat during my visit home, there will be cheese to thank for that. Either way, tears will be had. Entire bars of cheese will be purchased, only to be ripped open and eaten on the way home. Onlookers will be horrified. I will be in heaven. Oh, cheese. How I think miss you. How unhappy my intestines will be to see you. Oh, cheese. Soon.
5) Chocolate Mints
Dessert
DessertShould I still be able to open my mouth without my intestines leaking out of it, after ingesting disgusting amounts of roast beef, poutine, massively stuffed pitas, and bars of cheese, I will follow up with some chocolate mints for dessert.
I haven't decided on a brand yet. Maybe all of them.
I haven't decided on a brand yet. Maybe all of them.
5 comments:
Well, it's good that you got down with Korean food, because a lot of Western chicks come over here and won't eat most of it. So what do they do? The adopt a steady diet of pasta and Outback, packing on the pounds, which is a shame, since most of them are fat to begin with.
That said, get your eat on back home. I certainly do every time I return to the states.
I like your blog, btw. It has a slightly cynical edge that I can relate to.
I don't know that many Western chicks that refuse to eat Korean food. But poor social skills have resulted in me not knowing everybody. Regardless, Outback used to be my monthly treat, until I realized that I could buy and cook better steak at a fraction the price. Having learned this, I gave up steak altogether. It was no longer a challenge, or a treat.
Oh, and thanks. I'll check your link out, too.
All the Western chicks I knew in Korea ate Korean food.
Hey, Big White Barbie, Good Man and I have LOST weight in America.
Don't ask me how that works.
i lost some weight in the US, too--or at least maintained the 3 kgs i had lost in the previous month. i think my body wasn't used to processing all the fat. i had some wicked intestinal issues a couple times after meals that included french fries and cheese.
Hahaha!! I'm assuming that I know exactly which Drunk Food stop in downtown Barbieville that you are talking about, my dear, and I am very sad to report that since my own return to said Ville, it is simply not the same. That being said, it is hardly mediocre.
Looking forward to your return, Kiddo. With any luck, it will be prior to my upcoming deployment. As out of the loop as I have been for the past little while, I'm poised to become much more so very shortly.
See you soon. :)
TSVI
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