Wednesday, March 21, 2012

This is the greatest thing to happen to me in months.

Today was going just terrible. Then, I found this:

and immediately made it my new favorite thing.

This was the correct response.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

There Are Great Snowsuits in Suzdal, too.

I went to Suzdal, where I saw this:

It was pretty great.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

There Are a Lot of Great Snowsuits in Saint Petersburg

I took the entire New Year holiday off work, which means I had from December 31 to January 9 to do as I wished. I originally had planned on going to Riga or Kiev, but after learning that I'd have a coworker to hang out with if I went to Saint Petersburg, I opted to do that instead. It was a wise choice, as it turns out that there are a lot of really excellent snowsuits in Saint Petersburg.

The first spotting happened in a Soviet style cafe near where we were staying. We had just finished eating some perfectly average pelmeni, when a woman who appeared to be in her early 20's entered the restaurant. For this occasion, she had chosen a white snowsuit that looked somewhat like somebody had given several children a paint brush, each dipped in a different color, and advised them to stand 3 feet away while frantically flailing the brushes about until all the paint had flung off them in the direction of the snowsuit. To further accentuate the greatness of her winter ensemble, the woman had firmly tucked the ends of the snow pants into thick black boots. I like to think that she also had a pompom on top of her tuque, to go with the strings which dangled down each side for later fastening, but I'm definitely getting carried away and making one of those things up. Either way, it was an impressive ensemble, top to bottom.

Impressive though it was, this woman could not compete with Yellow Snowsuit Man. Yellow Snowsuit Man's ensemble consisted of nothing more - nor less - than his namesake. His rich yellow snowsuit was so beautiful that I couldn't help myself: I followed him through a park, taking several photos along the way. It wasn't weird at all. Due to unusually high levels of excitement, I was unable to get a clear shot, so you're just going to have to believe me that watching a grown man take his family for a stroll while wearing a bright, solid yellow snowsuit that just screams "yes, people do take me seriously as an adult, and no, I can't believe it either!" is absolutely follow-through-a-park worthy. I eventually lost them as they were wandering around some monuments. I sometimes dream now that he hasn't changed out of his snowsuit since that day, and will still be wearing it when I return in the summer. It could happen.

There are probably other great snowsuits in Saint Petersburg, and maybe one day I'll go back and document them properly. That sounds like something I'd do. It also sounds a bit like something that I will forget to do when the time comes.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

A Short List of Places Where I Haven't Worn Enough Clothing

One summer in Busan, I mistakenly wore a short skirt. On my way across town, I got followed through the metro by two separate ajusshis, apparently having thought they'd caught a waft of Russian prostitution. They had been misled by my lily white leggy leggedness, resulting in their confusion and my irritation. I never wore a short skirt in Korea again.

Fast forward to a few years later and I find myself in Russia, irritated by the mere idea of constricting myself to a full day of pants. It turns out that wearing dresses and tights is far more comfortable than any other alternative this side of stark naked. No wonder I was so miserable for much of my time in Korea.

As things have gotten a bit colder here, I've occasionally taken my new found love of not wearing pants a bit far. Given my tendency to overdo everything that I even remotely enjoy, this is expected.

Here are a few examples:

1) When attending a football match in rainy, 5 degree weather, one probably ought to throw something on over their tights. In my defense, I sort of thought that maybe the football would happen inside. However, after attempting to pass that off as a defense in conversation, I have come to realize that this just adds another layer of stupidity to my case.

2) Christmas Day involved much more walking around than I anticipated, most likely because I failed to properly listen to what the plan was. Or check the weather beforehand. So, after walking around Red Square for a while, around the centre for a bit after that, and jumping in a snowbank somewhere in the middle of all that, I was cold. Should have been a bit wiser before dressing myself for the day, as I was cruelly advised.

3) The State Hermitage Museum in Saint Petersburg is absurdly cold in January. The radiators did work, as I learned when I leaned on them in the hopes of warming up, but failed to keep the rooms at an appropriate temperature. I attempted to exit and reenter with my coat, but security doesn't allow you to wear a coat in. In my defense, I was properly dressed for an indoor event, and had no way of knowing beforehand that it could be cold as fuck inside.

The moral of this story is that I have obviously learned nothing from any of these events and will continue to not wear enough clothing (until summer, at which point I will immediately start wearing too much clothing, because somebody has to).