No, Your Accent is Broken.

Taxi, cab, or taxicab? If you chose the third option, you're not wrong, but I don't like it. The other two I use interchangeably. Apparently I'm broken for doing so.

Last Tuesday around 4am, the following conversation probably took place :

Me: *on phone* Hey, could I please get two taxis in front of the Pita Pit?
Random Townie: Taxi?!
Me: *waving Random Townie off; still on phone* Yes, two taxis in front of the Pita Pit. Thank you!
Random Townie: Seriously, taxi? What are you, a fucking Yankee?
Me: Dude, they're called taxis.
Random Townie: They're called fucking cabs, Yank.
Me: *waving the rest of the room to attention* Taxi or cab? Or taxicab?
The Peanut Gallery: Cab. Cab. Cab.
Me: Whatever, Townies.

I don't understand why I'm not invited to more parties.

I later consulted with Random Cabbie, who thought my line of questioning regarding what he preferred to call his vehicle was Funny Talk. He, too, did not approve of my use of taxi.

Four points must be made from this:

First, I probably do sound more like an American than when I left Canada last October. I had a number of American friends in Korea, they speak funny, I have a tendency to adopt the mannerisms of those around me, hence I now speak funny, too. Of course, by that I mean that Everybody Else now speaks funny. I happen to sound quite excellent, thanks.

Second, Americans have been known to talk funny in all kinds of different ways. Which one am I resembling when I say "taxi"? Do I sound like I'm from New York? The Mid-West? Alaska? What part of the country am mimicking?

Third, there's nothing wrong with sporting an American accent. Americans speak funny in perfectly acceptable ways, and this is one of the many reasons why we love them. Wait, we don't? Right, I forgot: Here in Canuckistan, it is my duty to spout anti-American rhetoric while munching down on a Big Mac and wondering which Hollywood movie I should see next.
Culture shock is clearly responsible for my failure to accept the more retarded points of Canadian culture without question. I'm going to go munch on some Doritos and watch NBC as I ponder this conundrum.

Finally, taxi is not an American Thing, Random Townie. You too, Random Cabbie. Cab is a Townie thing. The two can be used interchangeably here in Canuckistan, as they are in the United States. Different regions may be more prone to using one or the other, but nothing about the word "taxi" links it to a particular accent. It's not fuckin' "eh", for Christ's sake. I know this after conducting a very scientific survey on facebook, where everybody who wasn't wrong agreed with me on the matter, rendering Random Townie's entire point retarded.

I probably sound more like an American than I used to, but not because I say "taxi".