In the midst of an otherwise breezy Friday schedule awaits The Assembly of Brats. These seven poorly disciplined, overactive seven year olds with a penchant for mischief are inexplicably charming. On the worst of days, they’re almost likable. Each class begins with an epic, one sided battle of hide-and-seek; they hide, nobody cares enough to go find them. Eventually short attention spans signal boredom, and the lesson begins five minutes later than scheduled. Should the teacher need to exit the classroom at any point, an impromptu game of hide-and-go-seek is sure to follow.
What is generally a routine day at the office with The Assembly of Brats has been known to turn ugly on those rare occasions that Barbie Teacher is experiencing the unpleasantries of dysmenorrhea. On this particular Friday, Andy Student and Tony Student thought that it would be cute to giggle uncontrollably after Barbie Teacher returned from her brief date with the photocopier. They were wrong. While Barbie Teacher was perfectly aware that The Brat Pack had chased closely behind and kept detailed surveillance of her date, she preferred to ignore this fact of Hagwon Life and get on with the lesson. This incessant giggling interfered with her plans immensely.
Neither Andy Student nor Tony Student was interested in discussing their shenanigans with Barbie Teacher. Instead, they preferred to continue giggling. Barbie Teacher was grossly unimpressed. This meant that she had to pretend to care what it was they had done wrong by inviting them to a lecture in the hallway. Neither Andy Student nor Tony Student gave a lick what Barbie Teacher had to say. Fortunately for Barbie Teacher, Oldest Male Korean Teacher (OMKT) happened to be in the hallway scolding Chase Student. Its one thing to disrespect Barbie Teacher; she’s a silly foreigner who has been designed specifically for the student body’s amusement. OMKT actually has a place in Korean society which garners a certain degree of respect, if not fear from The Munchkins. After abruptly finishing with Chase Student, OMKY barked about 5 words at Andy Student and Tony Student before returning to his own classroom.
The previously mum Andy Student and Tony Student suddenly felt inspired to stop giggling like school children and respond to Barbie Teacher like adults. Chase Student, who had apparently been instructed to remain in the hallway with his hands in Kidstreet Overhead Clapping position, had no choice but to eavesdrop on the lecture. Tony Student, who struggles to string together sentences in English, nominated Andy Student to do the talking. Barbie Teacher, who was quite bored at this point, hoped that they stop hemming and hawing soon. She was quickly running out of the patience required to keep up this inane charade of Actually Giving a Damn.
When Andy Student finally began with, “Teacher, we was …” Chase Student saw his opening. Chase Student cleared his throat loudly enough that the Party of Three turned in unison to look his way. With all eyes on him, he declared: “We were! We were! We were!” Andy Student, clearly startled to discover that Chase Student is such a grammar stickler, corrected himself and continued with his boring explanation of how he and Tony Student thought it was hilarious that they followed Barbie Teacher to her photocopying date, but golly, they were really sorry! Barbie Teacher, holding back a yawn and the door to the classroom, advised them to return to their seats without a peep. Following closely behind, Barbie Teacher cast a glance over her shoulder to Chase Student, who hadn’t budged from his Kidstreet Overhead Clapping pose. “Thank you, Chase Student”.
While The Assembly of Brats would continue their shenanigans in the future, Barbie Teacher found consolation in having learned that Chase Student is a pedantic smart ass.
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