Monday, March 10, 2008

Barbie and the Dash for Cash

This past Friday, I decided just before midnight that I would make an appearance at a birthday bash down in Seomyeon. I was going to bail, on account of laziness, but after about half an hour of Lazy I was itching to do something. Anything. A birthday bash seemed like a slight upgrade from another two hours of ass scratching, tootsie pops and House. Only one problem with this plan: I had neglected to hit a bank machine on my way home from work. The subway stops running in that direction just before midnight. With only 6 bucks in hand, I was just short of what was required to take a taxi to Seomyeon. And most bank machines in Korea Land seem to close up shop before midnight; it’s really quite silly. Thankfully, some convenience stores have ATM’s that will take my card. Of course, there are also many that won’t. And that’s how my Friday night rolled into an impromptu Saturday morning stroll.

There is a 7/11 around the corner from my apartment that has an ATM which will accept my bank card. For some bizarre reason, none of the subway station Cash Stops will accept it. Sadness. The special bond that I have with 7/11 gets me through many a rough patch with Subway Station Land. Unfortunately, I seemed to have picked the one night this week that the 7/11 wasn’t up for some action. I arrived at the store, bank card in hand and found some Random Drunk pacing in front of the ATM. He looked nonplussed and occasionally would give the machine a brisk tap on the side. The man at the counter came over when he saw me waiting for the machine and started to babble at me in Korean. I didn’t understand a lick of this, but could deduce that the bank machine was currently down and that I was Shit Out of Luck.

Having taken all of 5 minutes to pin my hair up on my head a half hour earlier, I was determined to make it to Seomyeon that night. Ah, Vanity. The things I do for you! I flirted with the idea of Going Russian for one of the many Random Soju Men floating around the neighborhood but quickly dismissed the idea; not worth the itch. Instead, I walked in the general direction of Seomyeon under the assumption that there was a convenience store with a functional ATM to be found somewhere nearby. If by “nearby” I was simply aiming for “somewhere between my apartment and Seomyeon”, this estimate was bang on. By any other account, this plan was quite flawed.

One and a half hours after leaving my apartment, I finally found an ATM that didn’t Suck and put my ass in a cab. At this point I had walked so far that I was closer to Seomyeon than I was my apartment; another 30 minutes would probably have done it. To be honest, I’m somewhat disappointed that I found that ATM. It would have made a much better story upon showing up at the bar at 2am if I had actually walked the entire way there. Somehow, “I walked halfway between Yangjeon and Bujeon stations, then grabbed a taxi the rest of the way” just sounds stupid. “I walked to Seomyeon” is equally stupid, but a slightly more impressive feat.


I began at "Start" which, thanks to my less than awesome photo manipulation skills, is now only faintly visible. I stopped at "ATM". Seomyeon is the intersection of subway lines just below ATM on the map. So close, yet not quite. Sigh.


I refrained from sharing this story with my coworkers, as they will no doubt think that I’m nuts. Not sharing my random ridiculousness with them was not a simple feat given that I’m an Avid Trap Flapper. When I passed the story on to a friend back home he acted surprised that I would be foolish enough to “risk getting mugged”. Didn’t I know it wasn’t safe to wander around a big city by myself after midnight?! I advised him that this is the same country where I once found an 8 year old playing on a patch of ice outside of a bar at 2am and nobody batted an eye. The same country where I walked across the E-Mart (similar to Walmart) waving 300 dollars around in my hand and the only person who so much as did a double-take was my friend (who killed herself laughing and told me that I deserved to get my ass shot for being so nonchalant). It’s not perfect here, but comparably, Korea is laughably safe. That being said, I won’t make a habit of this. The Walk to Seomyeon That Just Fell Short really was a one time thing. Until next time I short change myself…

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